“I need to find opportunities. I need to see what opportunities are available to me, and then I need to choose the best one.”

“I used to do stuff like this with my preschoolers.” (at the gallery)

1. Appreciation

2. Annoyance

3. Embarrassment

4. Depression

5. Acceptance

6. : p

Dear Internet,

I’m on you all the time, but I don’t think I ever really get to articulate how much you mean to me. Going to school in Walla Walla, I feel like I’d suffocate without your warm embrace. You’ve let me keep in contact with people who are really important to me, you’ve introduced me to new music, you let me ogle Ryan Gosling and Andrew Garfield. You teach me things all the time, not only about the world around me, but about myself. I mean, even just looking at my Google search history and Wikipedia history would tell a stranger quite a bit about me. 

You take a lot of flack from people who either can’t control themselves around you, or who don’t know how to use you. I’m not saying I always treat you the best, but I think I’m undeniably a better person for knowing you. 

I’m still getting over the loss of Megaupload, but you’ve been showing me some ways of coping; I’m still keeping warm with Mediafire. This whole SOPA/PIPA/ACTA business is changing our relationship, but I know we’ll get through it together.

Sometimes you move a little slow and I get a little frustrated with you, but I know that’s not your fault. I’m trying to get to know you better, by learning about code. Please be patient with me. 

Anyway, I hope I’ve been able to communicate at least a little bit of how much you mean to me, and how thankful I am. Internet, I’ll always be here for you and I know you’ll always be there for me. 

Yours for the revolution,

D

Eric: Do you like comic books?

Me: Comic books?

Eric: Yeah

Me: Not really.

Eric: You like TV… What else do you like? You like really weird things. You like the internet. What can I get you? I can buy you a month of high speed internet.

Me: We wouldn’t be friends for a month. I wouldn’t leave the apartment.

———————————————————————————————-

Do I like weird things? What does that mean? What’s weird?

I decided to start blogging again. There are probably a lot of reasons for this, but mostly the decision to keep a blog again came from the same sort of loneliness that precipitated my blog freshman year. Maybe loneliness isn’t the best description. I guess I’m trying to use my interactions with other people as a way of filling an emptiness inside me. When that fails, I tend to view it as loneliness. 

I’m not sure what I’m looking for in this blog. I guess my plan is to use this as a platform through which I can think about certain things or experiences, and not have to worry about someone interrupting me. In any case, I’m looking for something in this blog and I think that’s important. Whenever I lose anything at home, my mom will say, “El que no busca, no encuentra.” I don’t think I’ve lost anything, but the same principle applies. I can’t find fulfillment or peace of mind, if I just sit around thinking about how much feeling empty sucks. 

I probably use the phrase “I guess” far too much, since I used it twice in this and had to stop myself from using it several other times. Maybe my next post will be about “I guess.” I also want to write a bit about music.